I had so many different things that I had been thinking about posting today. Most of those things had something to do with the upcoming holidays and I hadn’t planned on taking too much of a serious tone for this week’s Monday motivation, but then Friday came. It started out as any normal day for me. I got my oldest boys out the door to the bus and finished getting the other two ready to go with me to run errands. It was busyness like normal until around noon when I got home and turned on my computer. The tragedy of the Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting was everywhere and my heart sank. I sat there staring at my computer in disbelief.
The rest of the day was slow as molasses as I sat and watched the clock and time seemed to stand still as I waited for school to be over for the day. As word started coming in of so many babies dying that day, I just wanted my babies to be home and safe with our family. My mind and heart couldn’t believe the things I was seeing and reading. How could someone do this to babies? And how can our hearts heal when something like that has happened? I’ve been praying for peace for all of the victims families as well as all of the children, teachers, police officers and paramedics who had to witness this tragedy first hand. Their lives will be changed forever. All of our lives will be changed forever. The news saddened me as an American citizen but the news devastated me as a mother.
My heart has been heavy as I’ve tried to find a way to feel peace again. I’ve been a nervous wreck. It took everything in my power to let my boys walk out the door this morning to school. I just wanted them home but at the same time, I don’t want them to be scared so I tried not to make a big deal about how I was feeling. I even drove by the school and was relieved to see a police car parked outside the front office. We’ve talked about what happened with my boys and as I’ve seen different advice on dealing with this type of tragedy circulating on the web, one of my favorite pieces of advice actually came from Mr. Rogers. 
He was right. There are always helpers and as the stories have emerged of teachers doing everything in their power to protect their students, it helps me to know that the world is still a beautiful place with people who want to do good and would risk their lives for other people. Good people can be found everywhere and after reading this quote it makes me want to be one of those good people who could be turned to for help if it is ever needed.
This weekend my heart was longing for a feeling of peace, even if just for a moment. Last night I had the opportunity to sing Handel’s Messiah with our community choir. I stood up to sing my solo, with a prayer in my heart for the peace that had been missing all weekend, and as I sang the words I realized that there is only one true way to find peace that the world can’t destroy and that is through Jesus Christ, our Savior. The words of my solo couldn’t have been more fitting and for those few minutes I had a complete feeling of peace come over me. The words were:
“Come unto Him, all ye that labour. Come unto Him, ye that are heavy laden, and He will give you rest. Take His yoke upon you and learn of Him, for He is meek and lowly of heart, and ye shall find rest, and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”
-Adapted from Matthew 11:28-29
I too had a hard time putting my son on the school bus this morning. It’s hard to find peace during this difficult time. I’m glad that you were able to find a moment of peace.
I seriously had to hold in the tears as I sent them out today. If my husband wasn’t home I may have kept them home but he encouraged me to let them go. It’s just heartbreaking.