As a mom, the task of raising sons can be a bit overwhelming. It seems as though there are so many things to teach boys before they are grown. My boys are very different than I was as a child and they each have their own set of unique challenges. They act differently and respond differently to problems. I’ve asked my Moms of Boys Community to share the things they hope to teach their boys and here is their list of Things to Teach Your Son Before He Leaves the House.
Teach Son Respect for Others and Themselves
The #1 thing that moms mentioned that they want to teach their sons was respect for others and themselves. Being able to have respect for other people and to not see themselves as the center of the universe is really important to moms.
“If I had to pick one thing I’d say to be a gentleman, to show respect to everyone and everything. In society today I think it’s becoming a lost art, but it’s so important.” -Shawnda W.
“I want my boys to know how to treat and respect women, how to be good husbands and fathers. I want them to know that their sons will learn these same things from them.” -Kimberly P.
“With the way I see people treat people these days, I hope to teach him to have respect not only for others but for himself!” – Kathleen
“I want to teach him how to treat a woman, in every sense. Being kind and loving and faithful, the provider, helping with the housework and the children… I want to teach him to be a good man” – Andrea R.
“How to respect a woman, how to be good husbands and fathers. How to help with housework (this is not just a woman’s job!!)” – Ashley S.
“How to treat a woman, be a good husband and father..and that NO JOB is “not a man’s job”. You can pick up a mop and bucket, it won’t hurt you..I promise.” – Kristin M.
“To respect themselves and have their own opinions and beliefs, even if they aren’t the same as my own. I also want them to learn to be amazing husband’s and fathers, just as theirs was to them.” – Tiandra S.
“Respect. Everything in life boils down to it. If you have respect for yourself and others than most everything else will fall into place. I’m struggling right now to teach my 13 year old that his actions affect other people. Everything he does affects someone. So to me it’s all about respect!” – Nikki M.
” I want my boys to leave the house knowing they should always treat a woman how they treat me, with love, respect, and kindness.” -Lauren M.
“I’ve taught all of my boys several things. Never hit women. Never call her names, get in her face, don’t put her down. Make her laugh when she’s sad and when she’s happy, realize what it takes to keep that smile.” Tabatha L.
Teach Kindness To Your Sons
Teaching kindness came in a close second to respect and I think they go hand in hand. If you have respect for other people, you will automatically want to be kind to them.
Here’s what the moms had to say about kindness:
“I want to teach them that it’s cool to be kind to others. Say please and thank you. My oldest is really good at letting someone know when they have hurt him but forgives with a hug.” -Taylor A.
“I hope they will lend their big, loud, strong voices to those who are silenced or whose voices are weaker and ignored. To stand up when they see injustice being done- because as white, middle class, educated men they have the unearned privilege that their voice will carry the furthest and hold the most weight: so use it to lift others up.” – Allana R.
“I hope to teach them to be kind and always help others.” -Kristen H.
“To be kind and thoughtful, you can never have too many friends. Everyone has something to offer, give them a chance.” -Laura S.
“I want my boys to be kind. Above all, no matter what they do in this life. Kind to women, kind to animals, kind to their own kids, kind to everyone they come in contact with. Obviously there’s so many more things I want for them, but without kindness, what’s it all worth?” – Aimee H.
“Treat others how you want to see your family be treated.” – Kim J.
“Love is reflected in Love.” – CJ B.
“How to be a good man, husband, and father. Why? Because there are too any mean people in this world. I want him to be as kind, non-judgmental, and open minded as his parents are so he can be a good person. He needs to be a good husband so he can have a happy marriage and know how to treat his wife with respect… He needs to know how to raise his own children and treat them with love in order for them to grow into beautiful people.”
“Think before you speak. The tongue is the strongest muscle you have and can do the most damage.” – Haley L.
Teach Important Life Skills and Hard Work
Beyond kindness and respect, we want our boys to be able to DO things when they leave the house. They need to be able to manage their money, as well as cook and clean. And learning to work hard to help provide a good life for their families is equally important.
Here’s what our moms said:
“I want them to be able to cook for themselves and do the laundry.” -Eireann G.
“I want to equip them for the financial road ahead… I feel like finances aren’t spoken enough about and we aren’t educating our young on how to start out successful instead of trying to recover in the future and begin again.
*I sure wish I understood 10 years ago, what I am just learning now!” – Vanessa M.
“How to run a household. I want him to be able to help his wife with the cooking, cleaning, and babies. His wife deserves an amazing husband like I have. I think that translates into how to treat a woman and be a thoughtful person in general.” -Holly J.
“Personal accountability. I would also like to teach them to work hard and to put forth effort in all they do.” – Casey O.
“If you like to eat, you better learn to cook. If you like clean clothes, you better learn how to wash them. If you like money, you better work hard to earn it and learn to take care of it. If you like your friends, be a good one to them (and if you don’t like them find new ones who’s values align with yours). And no matter how old you are, mommy kisses never wash away and will be with you always.” – Mara K.
Teach Sons to Love the Lord
Having a strong relationship with the Lord was the most important thing that many of our moms want to teach their sons.
When asked the #1 thing they want to teach their sons, the answered:
“To love, honor and respect the Lord and hide His truth in their hearts!!” Pauline J.
“I want to teach them to put their Heavenly Father first in everything! – Rosemary F.
“I want them to learn to love and obey God above all else. Everything else in life comes from a loving relationship with God; kindness, humility, respect, a servant heart, etc!” -Tamara K.
“To be a man of God. I pray we are raising our boys to know and love God so they will have eternal life.” -Jessica L.
“To know Jesus Christ would be my number 1.” -Vanessa M.
“To know and Love, and have a relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ. Nothing is more important to me than raising a Godly Man.” – Heather J.
“How to be a man of God and provider for the family.” – Meredith M.
Other things to teach your son before he leaves the house:
“How to be a fully functioning, capable and contributing member of society who thinks with their head, loves with their heart and works with their hands.” Lindsey E.
“To be respectful, capable, caring, independent, and kind. (Just not SO independent that he doesn’t still need me, at least sometimes.” – Ashley A.
“To be a man of good character. From character stems everything important: integrity, responsibility, respect for others, independence, honesty, reliability, faithfulness, kindness, patience, a good work ethic, the ability to take criticism, a willingness to learn and to be introspective.” -Rosemary W.
” Are we talking long term or…because this morning it was reminding him to keep his listening ears on and his hands to himself at daycare.” Chelsea J.
“Follow your passion and find away to make yourself happy.. people with passion are happy and don’t need others to maintain satisfication with their lives.” – Irena K.
“Love, respect, taking responsibility for their own actions, and you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to!!! I know it’s more than 1, I’m hoping 1 will sink in!!” – Stephanie W.
So tell me…What is one thing you hope to teach your son before he leaves the house?